CorporateLadderDowntown at your day job you have to earn promotions.  You start as sweeper and work your way up to gopher to clerk to assistant to sales to sales manager to junior director to senior director to partner to senior partner to CFO to CEO to owner and beyond …

In MLM, you start as Bronze and earn your way up to Silver to Gold to Platinum to Ruby to Emerald to Sapphire to Diamond to Black Diamond to just about every color of rare metal or precious gem found on the planet.

The names are different, but the earning is the same.  Downtown, you get promoted for performance or being someone’s cousin.  In MLM, you get promoted for volume of sales or being a heavy hitter lured over from another company.

How tedious! 

All that messy selling stuff and working with people and producing things of value just to earn a title.  Yuk!  Who wouldn’t want to skip all that and start at the top?

Luckily, we have the Internet, Thesaurus, and Photoshop.  No need to start at the bottom anymore.  All you have to do is give yourself a title and start promoting yourself online. 

No one will know you are a hairstylist, not a visionary entrepreneur.  No one will know you are a taxi driver, not a certified life coach.  No one will know you are an occasional teacher, not a master recruiter.  No one will know you are the CEO of a business consisting of just you working from your kitchen table.

Hairstyling and taxi driving and occasional teaching are all excellent careers and the kitchen table is a perfectly good place to sit, but if you try to pass yourself off as more, you turn yourself into a cartoon – an MLM Emperor!

Click to read a hilarious article by Jeff Haden where he warns against describing yourself with overblown adjectives like ‘world class’ or ‘dynamic.’

EmperorsNewClothesThe MLM Emperors we’ve met online are not quite as humble as Haden’s bloviators.  Our Emperors have no problem raising themselves to such lofty callings as ‘Quality of Life Advocate and Advisor’ and ‘Extravagant Giver of Life and Hope.’

Now you too can cast your humility aside and start at the top with the best of them!  We’ve collected some real examples from LinkedIn and Facebook and put them into a handy chart so you can create your own MLM Emperor title.

Just choose one or two phrases from each column, string them together shamelessly, and voila!  You are a Creative Compassionate Marketing Guru!  

The MLM Emperor Name Game

 

Award Winning

Identity Theft

Advisor

Certified

Team

Advocate

Collaborative

Network Marketing

Connectologist

Compassionate

Hope

Demigod

Creative

Sales

Expert

Dynamic

Power

Monarch

Exceptional

Quality of Life

Ninja

Extraordinary

Guaranteed Results

Practitioner

Extravagant

Life

Protector

Global

Information

Diva

Home Based

Transition

Catalyst

Incredibly

Lifestyle

Entrepreneur

Innovative

Business

Giver

Inspirational

Freedom

Leader

Intrepid

Marketing

Spiritualist

Joyful

Success

Mompreneur

Master

Prosperity

Investor In People

Motivated

Compensation

Provider

Online

Global

Scout

Passionate

Innovation

Rock Star

Relational

Performance

Mentor

Results Oriented

Passion Test

Agent

Revolutionary

Concept

Facilitator

Serial

Customer Gathering

Hustler

Success Based

Communication

Fighter

Transformational

Change

Motivator

Transitional

Talent

Recruiter

Ultimate

MLM

Guru

Unique

Video

Authority

Visionary

Achievement

Architect

World Class

Inspiration

Consultant

Extraordinaire

COE – Chief Of Everything

Marketer

Supportive

Lead Generation

Specialist

Natural

Luxury

Coach

Pro-Active

List

Strategist

Healthy

Revenue

Mover and Shaker

Mobile

Opportunity

Accelerator

Professional

Wealth

Pro

Vibrant

Relationship

Promoter

We would have chosen Magnificent Magical Manure Manipulator but we couldn’t find the parts in the list.

Please share your new favorite highfalutin titles with us in the comments section, and add any ridiculous titles you have found online that we’ve missed.  You can click here to see the titles the emperors have created all on their own.  These are real.  You can’t make this stuff up!

If you’d like your own one page pdf version of the game, click on MLMEmperorNameGame.pdf  Print a few copies and hand them out at your next team meeting.  Within minutes, you’ll have a room full of visionary talent motivators and global performance agents accelerating and practitioning!  A dream come true!

If you’d like to learn how to sidestep the manure in MLM and start skipping your way to success, download this free report Big MLM Lies.

Bob and Anna Bassett
519-371-1028
bobandanna@togethertothetop.com

Tom ‘Big Al’ Schreiter’s 25 Skills
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